RULES FOR GROUP

• All rules subject to change without notice!
• Follow ALL directions VERY carefully.
• When in doubt: dial (541)383-2961 and leave a VOICE message.

📨 EMAIL

• ALWAYS send a new, fresh email for EACH question;
  DON'T reply to old or unrelated email threads.
• DON'T combine emails;
  Only ONE subject per message.
• DON'T include the module number unless it's your homework submission. (Page numbers are okay)
• NEVER forward Anger Solutions' emails to others.
• NEVER give out the Group Facilitator's email address, nor CC anyone to it.
  Give them anger.mgmt@protonmail.com instead.
• The anger.mgmt@protonmail.com email address is ONLY for people that are NOT currently in the program.
• Emails are typically deleted, for privacy reasons, after viewing them.
  DON'T assume Anger Solutions still has access to any old emails.

✏️ HOMEWORK

• ALWAYS send ONE complete homework submission, EVERY week:
  • To the group facilitator's email BEFORE group begins.
  • In its very own fresh email --NOT in a reply to some other thread.
  • Subject line MUST include the module number.
  • Images of pages MUST be upright and COMPLETELY legible.
  • ALWAYS print answers, DON'T use cursive, so it's easy to read.
  • ALWAYS use a pencil so answers are easy to change, as necessary.
• Homework WON'T be "reviewed" after submission.
  You can iron out issues with homework, BEFORE submitting it, by asking specific questions.
• Only ONE homework attachment is allowed, per week.
  --THAT is your homework submission.
• The previous week's assignment email submissions are NOT retained.
• Additional homework may be assigned at ANY time.

📶 CONNECTION

• Your device is expected to be plugged in, at ALL times.
  If your battery is dying DON'T interrupt the group.
  Handle it on your own. It's NOT our problem.
• If your connection drops, rejoin MUTED.
  DON'T start apologizing when you reconnect.
  --The group will continue without you.

🗣️ PARTICIPATION

• This is NOT counseling;
  This is NOT therapy;
  The group facilitator is neither a counselor, nor a therapist.
• You're strongly encouraged to use your initials, for your username, in this group.
  At most, please use only your first name and last initial.
• Always be respectful and on-time.
  After 1 minute you're late;
  After 5 minutes you're a no-show.
• EVERYTHING DISCUSSED HERE SHOULD BE TAKEN AS CONFIDENTIAL;
  What's said in group should stay in group.
  Wear headphones if anyone is nearby.
  However, confidentiality can NOT be guaranteed.
  So do NOT admit to any specific crimes.
• If you think you might cut it close making it to group on-time then take your workbook, a pencil, an eraser, and phone with you so you can still participate.
• Show up, even if you didn't complete your homework, to allow your weekly report to state you were "present" and "in compliance".
• You're encouraged to CHIME IN when you have additional ideas about the portion of the module we're covering;
  So ask clarifying questions and offer relevant & appropriate comments on answers given by others.
• Any disrespect to this group will REQUIRE AN APOLOGY.
  Absolutely NO THREATS and NO VIOLENCE.
• Do NOT violate ANY restraining orders or no-contact orders, ever, not even as part of an assignment.
• NO arguing; NO excuses; Please ASK to explain.
  Continuing to argue will result in failure to progress.
• When speaking, FOCUS ON YOURSELF, NOT OTHERS.
  YOU ARE THE PERPETRATOR, NOT THE VICTIM.
• Follow the K.I.S.S. principle: "Keep It Short & Simple"
  This means keep your answers as short & simple as possible.
  --2 to 3 sentences is usually plenty! Let us ask for more information, if we need it.
  Otherwise you'll probably end up exposing more than necessary.
• Everybody has reasons...
  When speaking, focus on WHAT YOU DID, NOT WHY you did it.
  The group will decide when, if ever, to talk about the "why".
  --If we need to know why (ie. if we need to know the reason) then we will ask.
• Giving "reasons" can lead to failure, unless they are specifically called for.
  (Otherwise they are just "excuses". See next section.)

🚯 EXCUSES ARE NEVER ALLOWED

• MINIMIZING:

  • "It only happened once ..."
  • "I'm not perfect ..."
  • "I barely raised my voice ..."
  • "I only got a little upset ..."
  • "I did better than I usually do ..."

• JUSTIFYING:

  • "I'd already tried being patient with them ..."
  • "I won't put up with that ..."
  • "I wasn't in the mood ..."
  • "Nobody does that to my family ..."
  • "I warned them ..."
  • "I would've been late ..."
  • "It felt good ..."

• BLAMING:

  • "He took a swing at me ..."
  • "They stole from me ..."
  • "She started yelling at me ..."
  • "I was drunk ..."

💡 Put into practice what you've learned, each week:

• Body <- listen to it! (sensations)
• Gameplan <- have one! (timeout & think)
• Tools <- use them! (relaxation practices)