RULES FOR GROUP

All rules subject to change without notice! (So review them weekly)

• Follow ALL directions VERY carefully.
• When in doubt: dial (541) 383-2961 and leave a VOICE message.
• Payment MUST be received at least 2 hours before the group starts.

📨 EMAIL

• ALWAYS send a new, fresh email for EACH question;
  DON'T reply to old or unrelated email threads.
• DON'T combine emails;
  Only ONE subject per message.
• DON'T include the module number unless it's your homework submission. (Page numbers are okay)
• NEVER forward Anger Solutions' emails to others.
• NEVER give out the Group Facilitator's email address, nor CC anyone to it.
  Give them anger.mgmt@protonmail.com instead.
• The anger.mgmt@protonmail.com email address is ONLY for people that are NOT currently in the program.
• Emails are typically deleted, for privacy reasons, after viewing them.
  DON'T assume Anger Solutions still has access to any old emails.

✏️ HOMEWORK

• ALWAYS send ONE complete homework submission, EVERY week:
  • To the Group Facilitator's email BEFORE group begins.
  • In its very own fresh email --NOT in a reply to some other thread.
  • Subject line MUST include the module number.
  • Images of pages MUST be upright and COMPLETELY legible.
  • ALWAYS print answers, DON'T use cursive, so it's easy to read.
  • ALWAYS use a pencil so answers are easy to change, as necessary.
• Homework WON'T be "reviewed" after submission.
  Call and leave a voice message if you have any questions about the homework -- BEFORE submitting it.
• Only ONE homework attachment is allowed, per week.
  --THAT is your homework submission.
• The previous week's assignment email submissions are NOT retained.
• Additional homework may be assigned at ANY time.

📶 CONNECTION

• It's your responsibility to ensure you have a reasonably stable connection for all activities (including phone calls).
• Your device is expected to be plugged in, at ALL times.
  If your battery is dying DON'T interrupt the group.
  Handle it on your own. It's NOT our problem.
• If your connection drops, rejoin MUTED.
  DON'T start apologizing when you reconnect.
  --The group will continue without you.

🗣️ PARTICIPATION

• This is NOT counseling;
  This is NOT therapy;
  The group facilitator is neither a counselor, nor a therapist.
• Please use only your first name and last initial, for you displayed name, in meetings.
• Always be respectful and on-time.
  After 1 minute you're late;
  After 5 minutes you're a no-show.
• ANYTHING DISCUSSED SHOULD BE CONSIDERED CONFIDENTIAL;
  What others say in the group should stay in the group.
  Headphones are REQUIRED when anyone else might overhear the conversation.
  However, confidentiality can NOT be guaranteed.
  So do NOT admit to any specific crimes.
• NEVER let anyone see who is in the group.
  Always hide your screen from the view of others.
• If you need to use the restroom, or assist someone at your location, just ask.
• If you think you might cut it close making it to group on-time then take your workbook, a pencil, an eraser, and phone with you so you can still participate.
• Show up, even if you didn't complete your homework, to allow your weekly report to state you were "present" and "in compliance".
• You're encouraged to ask clarifying questions and offer relevant & appropriate comments on the topic we're covering;
• Keep your microphone muted, unless you're about to say something, to avoid audible distractions.
• Any disrespect to this group will REQUIRE AN APOLOGY.
  Disrespect includes any interuption or distraction.
  If someone is speaking wait until an appropriate moment to offer the apology.
  Absolutely NO THREATS and NO VIOLENCE will be tolerated.
• Do NOT violate ANY restraining orders or no-contact orders, ever, not even as part of an assignment.
• NO arguing; NO excuses
  ASK if you may explain -- before offering an explanation.
  Continuing to argue will result in failure to progress.
• While speaking FOCUS ON YOURSELF, NOT OTHERS.
• Follow the K.I.S.S. principle: "Keep It Short & Straightforward"
  This means keep your answers as brief & frank as possible.
  --2 to 3 sentences is usually plenty! Let us ask for more information, if we need it.
  Otherwise you'll probably end up exposing more than necessary.
• Everybody has reasons...
  Giving "reasons" can lead to failure, unless they are specifically called for.
  If we need to know the reason then we will ask.
  (Reasons which don't provide value to the other party are "excuses" because they are used in an attempt to excuse misbehavior. --See next section.)

🚯 EXCUSES ARE NEVER ALLOWED

• MINIMIZING:

  • "It only happened once ..."
  • "I'm not perfect ..."
  • "I barely raised my voice ..."
  • "I only got a little upset ..."
  • "I did better than I usually do ..."

• JUSTIFYING:

  • "I'd already tried being patient with them ..."
  • "I won't put up with that ..."
  • "I wasn't in the mood ..."
  • "Nobody does that to my family ..."
  • "I warned them ..."
  • "I would've been late ..."
  • "It felt good ..."
  • "I was busy ..."

• BLAMING:

  • "He took a swing at me ..."
  • "They stole from me ..."
  • "She started yelling at me ..."
  • "I was drunk ..."
  • "I was busy ..."

💡 Put into practice what you've learned, each week:

• Body <- listen to it! (sensations)
• Gameplan <- have one! (timeout & think)
• Tools <- use them! (relaxation practices)